Coaching with Laura

What was happening in your life when we first connected?  What kinds of goals were you struggling with, and what were you trying to create, attract, shift, or launch?

My work life had taken over. It was a little bit overwhelming to say the least. I had lost all self confidence. It was having the biggest, most negative impact on every single part of my life. I was not the happy, outgoing person I used to be nor present outside of anything other than my work life. A few days before I heard about life coaching, I had finally plucked up the courage to say I need a break from work. I sat having a coffee with my sister-in-law who is a coach herself (though I never really understood truely what she did). I had already made the decision that enough was enough and it was time to do something about it and put me first. It was time to start thinking about who I really am, what is important to me, what my future might look like and could ‘be’, in fact. In order to even dream big, my first goal was to find me and my confidence again and allow myself time to step away from the day job to make room for all the things I once loved doing. How could I find a balanced place for all these things in my life going forward. Maybe I could even find room for new passions, opportunities, and friendships. My sister in law recommended Cassie and it all went from there.

What was the trigger or lightbulb moment that made you decide to say “YES!” to coaching?

I have always been goal orientated, but it seemed that all my goals mostly revolved around work and work wasn’t even making me happy anymore. Away from the workplace, when did I ever allow time for just me? When I heard about coaching, I thought, yes! Great! This sounds like perhaps just what I need to help me through this initial phase and work out where to start. I once enjoyed time and felt no guilt in having a 121 personal training session, this is surely just the same with a different focus, right? A dedicated person and time for helping me achieve personal goals instead of just fitness ones… perfect!

Had you ever worked with a coach before?  What were your expectations about the experience?

I have never had any coaching formally before these sessions. I really didn’t know what to expect. How does it differ from therapy? Will it perhaps all be a bit too ‘emotional’ and wishy washy? Will people judge me for doing it? Do only weak people have coaching? Is it just a ‘fad’?  Boy was I wrong. I clearly didn’t understand what it was nor the benefits. Once I got started, I actually didn’t care what people thought either.

How did you feel, going into our first session together?

Going into our first session together I felt very shy, inward, emotional. I think I cried a few minutes before our session and didn’t have the confidence to even go on the video camera.  I felt lost, I wanted to hide, I wasn’t sure I was ready to open up to anyone, never mind a complete stranger sat all the way in canada!

And what had shifted or crystallized for you, by the end of that first session?

Even by the end of the first session I realised I had fixated my mind on everything that was going to go wrong instead of thinking about all the possibilities of this having a positive impact on me and my life. This wasn’t as scary as I first thought.  I turned my camera on and ended the session with a warm feeling and sense of pride that I did something that scared me. First step, tick!

Have your friends or loved ones noticed any changes in you since you began coaching? What have they said to you?

From a friend:

Laura has a different focus now and that focus is herself. Things that once bothered her are now mostly acknowledged and then disregarded if not relevant. She decides what she will allow to impact her and is staying focussed on her own happiness. She knows what she can change and what will never change, so now focusses on what is in her control.

What is the biggest change you’ve witnessed in yourself, and how is it manifesting in your career, inner world and relationships?

The biggest change I have witnessed in myself is the improvements in my self belief and growth mindset. To many, I might come across as an outgoing, confident and fairly successful young woman. I used to feel this way up until recent changes in work led me to believe quite the opposite. I now really understand the saying of “ you never know what’s really going on behind a smile”. Finding my self belief  and growing my mindset is an ongoing journey, but I already feel a huge improvement. I am starting to feel less guilt when putting myself and what’s important to me first for a change. It means I am giving myself a fairer chance at starting to be the best version of myself, at work, or at home. The feeling of not being good enough or worthy enough is starting to fade. My relationships are improving as I have more time to be present, even through the smallest of things like sitting down for tea or going for a walk with my husband and the dogs without feeling like I need to be glued to my emails. I am more open to try new things, be a little braver and give things a go. I sang at a couple of open mic nights, I joined a netball group, I’m starting to find my confidence to speak out when I have an idea or opinion in meetings at work instead of feeling like more senior people with more experience know better. I have started to put pen to paper on what I actually want my life to be instead of frittering from one idea to the next.

Is there anything you wished we had spent more time on, or anything that could have improved your coaching experience?

I wish I personally had a better idea before we started the sessions of exactly what I wanted to have achieved by the end of it. The goals we set felt like something I plucked out the air a little. But I felt so lost, I am not sure I could have really made any better decisions so early on anyway.

If you had to describe your coaching experience in 3 words, what would they be?

Life changing, therapeutic, challenging (in a good way).

Anything else you’d like to add?

I couldn't help thinking at the time that some of my family and friends didn’t (and still don't) quite understand coaching. I felt like they were concerned about me by the things I would now be posting or doing. It sometimes felt like some of the things I was doing as a result of my newly found confidence came across to them as a cry for help instead of me actually starting to feel more confident and be the real me. I would sometimes get what felt like concerned calls from people after posting a positive quote or putting myself out there on instagram stories. I hope that more people start to understand what coaching is and how it can benefit everyone in life, not just because you are going through a bit of a bumpy patch. Having coaching should be like going to the gym, the dentist, an everyday thing that supports a healthier and happier life.

I can’t thank you enough Cassie for helping me start to reconnect with myself, a better version of the person I was before. All experiences in life change you in some way, but this will be one of those things I look back on later in life and wish I had done something like this sooner!